I am conflicted. Do I celebrate the fact that endometriosis has completely transformed my life, turned my emotions upside-down, ended relationships, tested my faith, caused debilitating pain and suffering?? NO. I don't celebrate those facts.
I pause. Pull myself together, and focus on the positive. The fact that I have an amazing God who has protected me and provided for me for my whole life; regardless how I have tried to push Him away. The fact that He has provided me with an amazing husband who researched endometriosis while we were dating so he could figure out ways to help me with pain. The fact that my family and friends (the ones that matter) have stuck around and supported me....I still have hope and faith that one day I will bear my own child...but on days like today no matter how positive I am, the pain can overshadow my hope and faith and bring me to tears.
Why at 23 years old as a single woman did I have to find out that I may never have children???
Did I miss my 'window'? Should I have just 'gotten pregnant' like the girls on the MTV shows???
Is it too late at 33 years old?
Is the endo getting worse?
Will I be diagnosed with cancer from the drugs they put me on?
GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRR!
The pain sure makes it seem so. I believe in a loving and providing God who will grant us the desires of our hearts...but alas sometimes we get a resounding 'not now' when we are asking for things. When will NOW be? In His time, is the resounding answer I receive, in His time...
Uninsured
Unknown future
Unanswered questions
Unreliable drugs
Unable to conceive
Undying love
Unknown power
Unbelievable God
Understanding Father
Unending faith
You are truly an inspiration. We should all have such faith and a positive outlook as you do my Dear! God is good and He will provide as (and when) He sees fit. My son is blessed to have you as his wife and I am equally as blessed to have you as my DIL (daughter-in-law).
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Love your, MIL
My Dear Daughter....I am so deeply touched after reading this....an unbelieveable wave of intense emotions instantly overcame me....You are such an overcomer!...Anyone can be a stong woman,but you are a Woman of Strength..I watched as you had to endure and then triumph over these challanges thoughtout the years,and instead of falling apart,you always fought right through whatever was thrown at you. You kept such a positive outlook and had such a strong faith...never losing Hope...always inspiring to those around you.I am so proud of you for all that you have and will accomplish in your life.The day you were born,was the day GOD gave me a Miracle...and that Miracle is you.I believe that the things we experience in life happen for a reason..we don't always understand why,but with GOD'S guidance,we learn from them and pass our knowledge on in order to help others.GOD has a master plan for each of our lives...HE has a special mission that only you can perform Kelly and HE will always provide for you..HE wants you to be happy & have an abundant & full life..I believe HE has great things in store for your future..but as we all know it's "In HIS TIME".I am so happy that HE has blessed you with such a wonderful husband who loves & cares for you so deeply.You are so special Kelly,I know you will have such a great impact on so many people throughtout your lifetime.Thank You for being my daughter.I Love You.. and I feel so Blessed you are my daughter.Love Mom
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